Monday, January 31, 2011

Autumn Threnody

 here's a little creative writing i wrote back in the day, hope you guys enjoy it!
enjoy !

I sat in the empty room by myself. The bartender comes over to me and before I could look up at him he murmurs ‘on the rocks?’ I nod. The television set on the far top corner blasts the news, nothing new, nothing joyful.
‘He’s fucked up again but his looking the other way’
Hitting the bottle will drown out and numb any mistakes and regrets i have made in the last 24 hours.
Should I have done it differently?
Should I have done nothing at all?
Questions that will haunt me for years to come or even a life time. I try to blank my mind, not letting a single thought get into what nimble sanity I had left. This alcohol, this substance of abuse will do the trick. Enough to cure the ache, at least for the next few hours.
‘He’s so fucking far from the person he aspires to be’

I sat in that uncomfortable wooden stool for hours. A soul or two walked in and out for a quick drink. Corporate men dressed in corporate clothing with corporate shirts and ties. What have they done? Have they really achieved that much to be so happy? They laugh amongst each other before dropping their glasses and leaving. I stare at them through my peripheral vision. They continue to laugh as they exit. I envy them, I envy their lives.
The bartender mumbles inaudibly, I nod again.
‘A breaking in spirit, a breaking in promise, a breaking in him...’
I slowly stumble out of that forsaken fortress. I edge at a snail's pace to the train station. I take a seat. 24 minutes till my train arrives. I close my eyes and pray for the 24 minutes to pass by unnoticeably.
Disrupted by a loud group of youths. There indecent language with their indecent behaviour captures everyone’s attention. They walk up to two men dressed in business attire, they exchange words. Words become crude, vulgar. The youth dressed in jeans that slope down to his thighs, checked shirt with tears throughout the sleeves. He swings with a metal bar in his tightly gripped hand.
the man falls to the ground
the youth flees
his friend yells for help
I smile.

‘please take me out of a world without any heart
a world we built to serve out selfish fucking selves’

Lyrics kindly borrowed and humbly appreciated from Boston’s hardcore scene HAVE HEART.

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